MONDAY

The financial crisis rages like an epidemic. Despite massive cash injections, European countries
stop short of a combined inoculation programme as the German government acts independently to guarantee all private savings, and Belgian-based Fortis is also given a lifeline bail-out. Aer Lingus announces it will axe 1,500 jobs. Icelandic banks are a serious financial casualty – but Kerry Katona shouldn't blame herself for her six-figure contract to flog packs of frozen Turkey Twizzlers.

On the receiving end of a hot grilling is Richard S Fuld jnr, chief executive of collapsed Wall Street bank Lehmann Brothers, testifying before the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform. Fuld had furious Congress members demanding answers, including one Republican representative bellowing angrily over the no-show of witnesses from Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac: "Any hearing that does not start with Fannie is a sham..."

tuesDAY

Stocks in the cities continue to fall, but the only 'footsie' index exciting interest among well-heeled fashionistas is the arrival in Dublin's Brown Thomas department store of the Manolo Blahnik boutique, selling shoes with vertiginous four-inch heels for prices that reach up to four figures. They are, according to Madonna, "better than sex".

Barack Obama puts the boot in during the second presidential debate with John McCain in a campaign increasingly turning nasty since McCain's running mate Sarah Palin accused the Democratic candidate on Monday of "palling around with terrorists". Referring to Obama condescendingly as "that one", McCain proposes to buy up mortgages from homeowners facing financial problems, as Obama says Republican support for dereg-ulation of the financial industry in 1999 has led to the current credit crisis.

Every financial cloud has a silver lining – and sometimes with an old, about-to-be decommissioned airplane flying through it. Ryanair's Michael O'Leary says plans to launch a 'no frills' transatlantic service are bolstered by an industry downturn as rivals go bust. "There may be a chance to pick up a cheap long-haul aircraft next year."

wednesDAY

After a heated cabinet meeting at the UK Treasury over £245-worth of takeaway curry comes the 5am announcement from the British government of a momentous £500bn rescue for the banking sector. Alistair 'Aloo Gobi' Darling says this will "un-bung" the system – presumably referring to the blocked banks and not the curry.

To relieve tight credit comes the coordinated move from the world's central banks of interest-rate cuts throughout America, the Eurozone, Canada, Sweden and Switzerland. As for what the government bail-outs will eventually mean for taxpayers everywhere, satirical website the Daily Mash explains it simply as: "Investing your money in banks so they can lend it back to you with interest."

thursDAY

The International Monetary Fund's gloomy economic outlook is widely reported, citing Ireland's, the UK's and Australia's "unexplained" 20%/30% increases in property prices over the last decade – prices higher than could be justified by 'fundamentals' such as rising population or higher incomes.

Stock markets follow New York's lead yet again as panicky investors dump shares and prices plummet. In the busiest day in history at the New York Stock Exchange – for the wrong reasons – the decline is big enough, say market commentators, to start a 'bear' so huge not even Sarah Palin could shoot it down.

The moose looks endangered too as Abercrombie & Fitch predict falling sales for the rest of 2008 to be "appreciably below the company's most recent guidance". Cue stamping of Ugg-booted feet throughout Tango-tan land .

The meltdown of Iceland continues as the stock market is closed. Like a lorry load of knockdown Bjork CDs, devalued Icelandic krona has virtually no takers.

Former Northern Bank employee Christopher Ward, originally charged with a €33.5m robbery four years ago, walks free from court. During the trial, assistant bank manager Kevin McMullan, who was abducted and forced to get the money, says: "It was easy to take £26.5m outside to a van on the street, yes. We disguised it as rubbish."

friDAY

Zimbabwe's finances are beyond comprehension. The UN food agency says 83% of Zimbabweans live on less than $2 a day. Half the population is malnourished. Inflation in the beleaguered nation reaches 231 million percent and without massive aid, the country will run out of food by January.

The IMF meets in Washington to discuss the economy and halt what some have called the "destruction of the global financial system". What value will they put on confidence, which now has real global currency but is more elusive than billion-euro bail-outs?