January

Toxic turkey, sprouts, Beverley Cooper Flynn's €41,000 allowance, and mounting debt have the nation groaning, but there's a great big emetic waiting to choke us – An Bord Snip Nua... Images of dead Palestinian children dominate during Israel's 22-day purge in Gaza... The historic event we never imagined: Not the first woman US president, but the first African American as Barack Hussein Obama is sworn in.

February

Bushfires rage in Australia, but it's Arctic conditions at home, especially for public sector workers with that pay freeze and pension levy, and Bank of Ireland's Brian Goggin seeing half of his €3m salary melted away... Even U2 have moved offices to tax-sheltering Amsterdam... Finance Minister Brian Lenihan is kept in after school for not reading that PricewaterhouseCoopers report... Best awards acceptance speech: Brendan Gleeson accepts a Bafta on behalf of playwright Martin McDonagh, reassuring audiences that Bruges "isn't really a shithole".

March

At Stormont, Martin McGuinness calls Republican dissidents "traitors"... Ireland's rugby squad celebrates an historic Grand Slam... Actress Natasha Richardson dies following a skiing accident, and Jade Goody departs to the Big Brother house in the sky... The grim details of Elizabeth Fritzl's 24-year imprisonment in a cramped cellar are summed up to an Austrian court as her father and tormentor, Josef Fritzl, finally admits his guilt.

April

An earthquake rocks l'Aquila, Italy... Easter bunny Brian Lenihan cracks open the seismic budget indicating it will be discounted Aldi chocolate eggs for us all. For dessert, there's the introduction of the 'banker and builder bailout', officially known as the National Asset Management Agency... The 'You don't say, bud' award: Nobel prize winner Paul Krugman gives "fiscally straitjacketed" Ireland as an example to other nations on how not to run an economy.

May

What next? Swine flu, that's what... And there's a stink of rotten eggs at the AIB AGM when angry shareholders let fly... Michael O'Brien, on a Questions and Answers debate on the Ryan report, tells the government it hasn't "the foggiest understanding" of what it feels like when a child is raped and beaten senseless.

June

We're all too hot now with the arrival of a heatwave, while in Britain the cabinet is in meltdown with a rash of resignations... Tough choices for the Irish electorate: which politician for Europe; which councillor for those crucial local decisions such as where to place litter bins. Libertas leader Declan Ganley demands to know if someone left his ballot paper bins out in the Castlebar election count, but, oh dear, his insistence on a recount shows he's a further 3,000 votes less liked than he'd thought... The 'But what would an entertainment website know?' award: TMZ beats the big news boys to it with the first announcement of Michael Jackson's death.

July

Real Madrid fly in to play a friendly against Shamrock Rovers... It's the launch of the mouthful that is the Special Group on Public Service Numbers and Expenditure Programmes (An Bord Snip)... The 'Should have gone to Specsavers' award : Rathfeale residents have a Da Vinci Code moment, seeing Our Lady in a big tree stump.

August

Sixteen staff at Thomas Cook stage a sit-in, while Liam Carroll is going nowhere as his property bubble-wrapped empire bursts... Pharmacists take their High Court medicine and re-open... Protests continue in Iran against the validity of President Ahmedinejad's re-election... Senator Edward Kennedy dies... The mother of murdered Sebastian Creane expresses in his funeral eulogy the wish for the family of his killer that "the darkness be taken away from them and the light shine on their lives".

September

Fans in Clare greet Muhammad Ali, the great-grandson of one of their emigrants... Boxer Darren Sutherland, dirty dancer Patrick Swayze, and chef Keith Floyd pass away... New Late Late presenter Ryan Tubridy makes an early, early dent in notions that he's a lightweight by grilling the taoiseach... Best Calamity Coughlan quote: Marketing Ireland is "like Einstein explaining his theory of evolution".

October

It's yes to Lisbon 2, and freedom for Goal worker Sharon Commins, released after 107 days in captivity... Best example of an apology that didn't sound it: Columnist Jan Moir says 'sorry' she was misunderstood after saying Stephen Gately's death was "not, by any yardstick, a natural one" and that the manner of his death "strikes another blow to the happy-ever-after myth of civil partnerships".

November

Water water everywhere as Cork, Clare and Galway bear the brunt of flooding... Floods of tears over the Hand of Henry as one night in Paris illustrates that big cheats aren't all bankers... 250,000 public sector workers down tools in a day of action... the Murphy report damns bishops for covering up for paedophile priests... Award for alternative use of a piece of sports equipment: Elin Nordegren, a golf club, and her cheating husband's car.

December

The harshest budget in history, but the foul language is directed at Labour TD Emmet Stagg: Green Party TD Paul Gogarty lets fly with a mouthful worthy of Malcolm Tucker... 'Mental reservation' is another new one on us, as Bishop of Limerick Donal Murray explains when a lie is not a lie... The 'I didn't read it but I know what it's about' miraculous medal award: To Bishop Willie Walsh, who based his support for Donal Murray on "someone else's" reading of the Murphy report.