Ireland is now the Sex and The City 2 of the recession, a hopeless story "running on empty". At least that's how it's portrayed in a feature written by Patrick Barkham in the Guardian. Well hello, Mr Barkham: the latest Mercer's Quality of Living Index of the best cities in the world to live in ranks Dublin at 26. Your London is way behind at 39. (Alas, Abu Dhabi is rated 83.)
THE economy is close to a turning point and could rebound to 3% growth next year? So says the Organisation for Economic Co-Operation and Development (OECD) in its latest global report. We suddenly start to wonder – maybe the future is not so bleak after all?
The state of our 'then-they're-up, then-they're-down' recovery hopes are like the Grand Old Duke of York (although 'Airmiles Andy' has his own problems from last week with loose cannon Fergie). Mortgage holders wouldn't mind a handy access to half a million, with the estimate that one in every 25 residential mortgage holders is more than three months behind on repayments. But there will be "no silver bullet solution" for those in arrears says the Mr Big of financial regulation, Matthew Elderfield.
Ashley Cole gets the 'Ex-Factor' but will also get to keep the €6m marital mansion in the divorce filed by Cheryl. Zsa Zsa Gabor used to call herself a housewife because "I always, always kept the house, dahlings" after all those divorces. Will that make Ashley a house husband?
Out along our own millionaires' row it looks like Ronan is in contrite house-husband mode in the Keating home. Yvonne makes daily media appearances in a succession of costume changes that would be the envy of Carrie Bradshaw at the electronic gates of her Malahide mansion, as the 'will they/won't they get back together again' saga continues. "Friends" from both sides murmur that the couple are "very much back on track". The singer is to go to Australia shortly for a recording of the Oz version of The X-Factor. Will the marriage go Down Under too? A series sure to run and run.
Céad Míle Fáilte doesn't have the X-factor anymore either as visitor numbers plunge by 98,600 in March. Our image won't be helped by a new video game, Red Dead Redemption, featuring a drunk called "Irish". Or SATC2's Irish nanny whose every appearance on screen is apparently accompanied by tin whistles. Begorrah and bejaysus.
The unlikely named Ginger McGuire said no one had woken her for three hours after her plane landed in Philadelphia on Tuesday. As to what could have induced her coma-like state, a United Airlines spokeswoman declined to comment on whether Ms McGuire was watching the new two-and-a-half-hour film about four Manhattanites frolicking in the UAE.
You're unlikely to see the Cosmo-guzzling fab four drinking a Cold Stone PB&C. The tipple tops Men's Health magazine's "20 Worst Drinks in America 2010" list. It has over 2,000 calories, and is a combination of chocolate ice cream, milk and peanut butter, and packs as much saturated fat as 68 rashers of bacon.
A big burp at Glasto: Bono's bad back leaves him "heartbroken" as the group have to pull out of their headline slot at the 40th anniversary of the festival. His pain is not helped at news of what is considered a suitable replacement: Gorillaz – a cartoon band with characters that look like apes.
Never mind Fidel's exploding cigars, the CIA had contemplated shooting a fake video of Saddam cavorting with a teenage boy in the hope it might destabilise his regime in the run-up to the US-led invasion in 2003. The mystery tape was never released, but that did not stop another CIA video being shot of an equally fake Osama bin Laden sitting around a camp fire, drinking and boasting of his gay conquests, with some of the agency's "darker-skinned" employees playing the role of his henchmen. And as we know, plenty of people would pay money to watch a group of middle-aged characters boozing and cavorting among the sand dunes in the Middle East, talking about sex.
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