Illegal tender

The Financial Times ponders a query from a client of weed dealers who wonders why the price of cannabis never goes up. The FT remarks that "the nominal price rigidity is remarkable and unusual" but says its own "purely academic research" suggests prices vary between £20-25 an ounce in the UK. "This could be a handy discovery. In hyperinflationary times, people turn to tobacco or coffee as more stable currencies. If quantitative easing gets out of hand, you have found a stable currency for the 21st century."

Wayne's shame

In Wayne's world it's okay to have sex with a prostitute while your wife is pregnant. In Wayne's world you "don't take s*** off the wife and her family", not least because they're all living "a very nice life off the back of his talent". That's how "a friend" of Wayne is quoted anyway. In Wayne's world, you're prepared to lose the girl who loved you when you had nothing, the mother of your firstborn son and your female fanbase for drunken sex.

Diamond dog

Bob (the builder of bonkers personal bonuses for bankers) Diamond is appointed the new chief executive of Britain's second-largest bank, Barclays. Diamond's personal wealth is over £100m. His dazzling decisions included advice to Barclays to buy part of Lehman Brothers, a deal they lost out on. Miraculously, he also lost out in the bidding war for ABNAmro, the Dutch bank that eventually broke Royal Bank of Scotland, an acquisition that left even Fred 'the Shred' Goodwin to the wolves.

Courting controversy

Ivor the Engine orchestrates a collision between parliament and the judiciary as he asks the courts to overrule a committee of his Seanad peers, who suspended him from attending debates after his holiday-home expenses debacle. The findings against Callely portrayed him as a pariah, a rogue, a thoroughly despicable person – his lawyer Michael O'Higgins' words, not ours. Poor Ivor, as his brief says, literally hasn't had a day's peace since.

Leaf me alone

David Alvand's tree of strife could land him in court under anti-social behaviour laws designed for hoodies, not hermits. Neighbours have complained about the 61-year-old Plymouth man's 35ft leylandii that fills his front garden, blocks all views of his house and towers over his roof.

Superannuation nation

Two million fiery French citizens insist that President Sarkozy's ambitious austerity measure to raise the retirement age from 60 to 62 will make France no country for old men. Here, it's more silence of the lambs as the government raises our retirement age to 68 by 2028.

Nor a lender be

Wall Street says the latest Anglo plan, in which it doesn't lend anymore, is "sensible". We give it €25bn (official loss level) and perhaps even €39bn (unofficial but perhaps more realistic estimates) to work out and wind down. Sensible for whom?

Back in the game

He phoned his aunt from the top of Mount Leinster, launched a boat and now is back in the thick of it with EU meetings, a budget and a banking system to bail out. The chemotherapy and the radiation for his pancreatic cancer are over for now for Brian Lenihan. He looks well. "It hasn't gone away and it's a danger. But it's not an immediate or clear or present danger."

Death disco

Vincent Keaney puts two feet on the grave of Charles J Haughey as he dances a jig in protest at the culture of corruption he says the former taoiseach spawned. Anger at Nama, the country's debt, political backhanders and "filth" in limousines leads to Keaney's self-avowed "greatest moment", which he posts on YouTube.

Snake hips

Is he a dirty dancer or David Brent in The Office? Psychologists at the University of Northumbria find the man with moves that rhythmically tilt and twist the torso and neck is more attractive to women than those who repetitively jerk their arms and legs or head in a single direction aka headbangers. The psychologists believe the dance moves send out "subtle signals" about a person's suitability as a mate. Perhaps not so subtle, as it takes most men seven pints of courage before hitting the floor, sometimes literally.