John Ryan: escaped from 'Dodge'

Johnny Handsome lives. Just weeks after he was reported to be in South America, former boy about town John Ryan has been in touch. Calling long-distance from possibly Delhi, John told The Diary: "I'm actually in India working on my memoir Ireland: My Part In Her Downfall."

Although John confirmed he left 'Dodge', or Ireland, before the fifth episode aired of his RTÉ TV spoof This is Nightline, he said his sudden flight had nothing to do with the mixed reviews the show received.

"I discovered as Adam Ant did many years ago: Ridicule is nothing to be scared of. Seriously though, some of it hurt a great deal. It would have been unbearable if I wasn't proud of the show. The Irish blogosphere was particularly grim and hate-filled. One night I signed on under an assumed name with Boards.ie and suggested an online petition against the show. I also lamented the fact that the IRA was no longer around to make people like John Ryan 'disappear'. It was a valuable existential exercise."

Praising RTÉ for taking a risk "with something that was clearly not Killinaskully" and with a second series looking unlikely, the exile says he only hopes the home station repeats the first series.

How different it could all have been if John had stuck to his magazines instead of selling his share in VIP magazine and TV Now to pal Michael O'Doherty.

"I have no regrets, especially when I spot Michael in a bright orange, high-performance Italian sports car stuck in heavy Dublin traffic during a rainstorm."