May 9, 2010
VOL 27 NO 19
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As bad as it gets: the worst sequels ever
Laura Davis goes in search of those bargain bin shockers, the sequels that you regret watching from the first moment...
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Sequels have the power to make audiences pretty irate, and it's completely understandable when a film's good name is tarnished due to a poor follow-up. Here are 10 of the worst out there. Email thearts@tribune.ie with suggestions for others you think should be added to our list and we will print a selection of readers' favourites...


Jaws: The revenge (1987)


The third sequel to Jaws sees the angry great white follow Ellen Brody and her family to the Bahamas. The film earned the lowest amount of money from the franchise, grossing $50m worldwide, in comparison to the $470m from the original. Michael Caine probably kicked himself for deciding to appear in this film instead of accepting his first Oscar for Hannah and Her Sisters. Although he did say in an interview, "I have never seen it, but by all accounts it is terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built, and it is terrific."


Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde (2003)


It's not like the first had the most original storyline, but it was impossible not to love Reese Witherspoon as the ditsy Elle Woods who overcame blonde prejudice to obtain a law degree from Harvard. The sequel follows the same pattern but lacks any of the charm of the first, as Elle heads for Washington to get an anti-animal testing bill passed, but struggles to be taken seriously through all the pink and glitter. I can happily sit back and watch some terrible chick flicks, but this takes the biscuit.


Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997)


Three years after Speed grossed over $350m in cinemas and won a Bafta, two Oscars and was nominated for another, producers thought they could cash in from a sequel. Although the film didn't bomb at the box office, if you've seen it it's easy to see why Keanu Reeves decided against appearing in the second. It's Speed, on a boat. Annie Porter (Sandra Bullock) must've really wondered why she was so unlucky to have this happen to her twice. And that wasn't even the most unrealistic thing about the film. It'll probably come as no surprise to hear that Speed 2 won the Razzie for worst remake/sequel that year. And it had Batman & Robin and Home Alone 3 to compete with...


The Return of Jafar (1994)


This Aladdin follow-up isn't the only Disney offender, just a pick of the truly awful sequels to Disney classics. Stopping at nothing to make a penny, originals such as The Lion King, Lady and the Tramp, Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, 101 Dalmatians, Bambi, Pocahontas and The Hunchback of Notre Dame have suffered worse-than-poor efforts to rinse the original story. If only the characters themselves could decide that they didn't want to taint children's memories of them by appearing in these sequels. If you've already bought any of these for your children, chances are some of the magic from your childhood has been murdered.


Grease 2 (1982)


Michelle Pfeiffer stars as the bad girl that the good English guy (Maxwell 'The Colbys' Caulfield) has to prove himself to, and it's often considered a terrible sequel – but at least it's certainly not trying to be the original movie.


Blues Brothers 2000 (1998)


Picking up 18 years after The Blues Brothers, with Elwood (Dan Aykroyd) being released from prison and striving to put the band back together. He reportedly lost 90lbs for the role, but the film didn't manage such a triumph, grossing just $14m at the box office. The original featured James Brown, Cab Calloway, Aretha Franklin, Ray Charles, and John Lee Hooker... but in its defence the sequel did at least manage to get BB King to appear.


Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights (2004)


Why bother following on from a story, when you can copy the first? The only difference here is that the film is set in Cuba the night before the revolution takes place, presumably as an attempt to give the film a hint of gravitas. It doesn't. It's a wonder how they managed to convince Patrick Swayze to cameo as a dance class instructor.


Cruel Intentions 2 (2000)


Cruel Intentions 2 was originally created as a TV pilot for a Cruel Intentions spin-off series called 'Manchester Prep', but it was cancelled before airing, so the three episodes were edited to make this movie. It's supposed to be a prequel to the original, showing when Sebastian met Kathyrn, but instead it is a poor replica, lacking all of the punch of the first one... Amy Adams did go on to bigger and better things, however.


Men in Black 2 (2002)


Agent J seeks out Agent K to provide a second helping of our first, last and only line of defence against the scum of the universe – luckily only 88 minutes' worth. The climax of the film was originally to have taken place at the World Trade Center. However, this had to be changed following the destruction of the buildings in the September 11 attacks, with a spokesperson for the studio on the day after announcing that the ending would be re-filmed.


Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003)


Taking place at high school where Lloyd Christmas and Harry Dunne meet, the film didn't really ever stand a chance casting two actors to copy the performances of Jeff Daniels and Jim Carrey. Especially without any funny jokes in the script. The film did manage minor box office success, despite not having the Farrelly Brothers to back it.


May 9, 2010

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