It was the gag of the week. The Irish, chuckled restaurant critic AA Gill, should not feel humiliated over calling in the IMF. Why? Because nobody ever expected us to be good with money. Ha. Ha. Ha.

The British journalist, who was speaking at our National Tourism conference on Tuesday, said we should stick to what we're good at. This, apparently, is "hospitality".

The Irish Independent must have been desperate to run some non-IMF stories when it published this glib stereotyping by someone who admits he knows nothing about Ireland. That said, he has a point. We have plenty of national strengths that aren't money-based. I've made a list of them for Fáilte Ireland, based on random stories from last week.

We're a politically astute nation. RTé's online news, like the Irish Independent, was also stuck for light stories. So stuck, that it re-hashed a Daily Star yarn under the headline "Rosanna Davison pokes fun at Taoiseach and calls for his resignation".

Rosanna had likened Cowen to our free EU cheese, saying he's "spreadable, soft and smelly". (No, I don't get it either.) She then opined: "I feel relief that the IMF has arrived to take control... Cowen needs to resign."

Later, she tweeted that she had just done a photoshoot in a bubble bath and wanted to be "minister for bikinis". Vincent Browne, you HAVE to have to let her host ur show lol :-)

We're an island of saints and scholars. Forget the account books, reach for your prayer books. So said minister Éamon Ó Cuív, as the IMF tanks rolled in. He told Highland Radio that we should start praying because "not everything is in the control of the government". Typical Fianna Fáil: they tell us to stump up €6bn in cuts when we don't have a cent. Then they tell us to start praying… when we haven't got a prayer. Sweet Jesus.

We're great at acting the bollix. On Wednesday, David McWilliams told Pat Kenny that we need a right "bollix" to negotiate with the IMF on our behalf. Michael O'Leary's name came up.

I, too, think O'Leary's a bollix, but for a different reason. Last Friday week, as Una Butler buried her two girls in Ballycotton, O'Leary staged a mock funeral at the opening of Terminal Two. The images of his coffin – with the words 'Irish Tourism RIP' – and those of Zoe and Emma appeared in the same news bulletin. It showed how out-of-touch with us plebs O'Leary is. Yet, last month, he topped a Sunday Independent poll of non-politicians we would most trust to lead the country. When will people stop talking bollix about this bollix?

We're still a nation of entre­pre­neurs. Ireland has a new theme park based on… crisps. Tayto Park in Meath features the Potatohontus Native American Village as well as the Teahouse in the Tree House.

It's a great idea. Galway should do something similar and turn Ballinasloe into a water park, now that flood season has arrived.

Why stop there? Let's turn the whole country into a theme park. We could call it Potatoland and charge a tenner admission. Hang on, aren't we doing that already?

We're kind to pensioners. In what other country could someone like Máire Geoghegan-Quinn win the Woman of the Year Award? Remember how she had to be forced to 'park' her state pensions during her tenure as our EU commissioner? Máire truly is an inspiration to all those working Irish women earning €250k while drawing €100k pensions. Well done.

We're brilliant wordsmiths. Or used to be. I was outraged to see the pictures of Noel Dempsey's vandalised office on Tuesday. A protestor had sprayed the word 'TRATIORS' across the front door. Even the standard of our vandalism is dropping. I blame classroom sizes.

I was reminded of the election leaflets Bertie sent constituents last summer saying they would receive 'three BALLET papers' on polling day. Hang on, where was Bertie on Monday night?

We're the world's best horse lovers. German magazine Der Spiegel has reported that 20,000 abandoned horses are roaming Ireland. Last week, RTÉ's Drivetime discussed whether we should eat them or not. Here's a suggestion: why not get Bertie Ahern to eat them? He's a great man for the horses. We can let him keep one to remind him that he's responsible for making Ireland a one-horse town. And finally…

We're the world's best lovers. The Pope's declaration that it's okay to use condoms couldn't have come at a better time. We're heading for a population explosion, if a survey by Durex is to be believed.

The Irish are having more sex than ever. (What do you mean YOU'RE not?) The majority of us get jiggy, on average, four times a week.

Maybe Fáilte Ireland could use this survey, instead of AA Gill's opinions, to stimulate tourism next year. I can see the slogan now: "Come to Ireland… where everyone is well and truly screwed."

dkenny@tribune.ie