MONDAY

Big cheats are still in the news – this time it's the unlikely institution of Corpus Christi College, Oxford who've been telling fibs. The winners of last week's University Challenge, led by Gail 'human Google' Trimble are disqualified by the BBC as an imposter is revealed on the team. Contestant Sam Kay is not a student but graduated and is now an employee at PricewaterhouseCoopers …

It's all a bit of a downer, according to Warren Buffett (above). "The economy will be in shambles, throughout 2009, and, for that matter, probably well beyond," he reports after his worst year in over four decades, which includes buying shares in failing Irish banks.

Tourism minister Martin Cullen (below) nearly comes a cropper in his chopper. On a flight from Waterford to Killarney, the helicopter door blows off mid-air, while the nation blows a gasket at the expense.

Daylight robbery figures elsewhere are revised. Initial reports that €4m had been retrieved after Friday's €7.6m Bank of Ireland raid prove optimistic – the figure recovered is closer to €2m as the term 'tiger' kidnapping further consigns the Celtic one to history.

Controversial embryo stem cell research could be consigned to history as scientists devise a method to wind back the clock by reprogramming skin tissue taken from adults.

tuesDAY

Back in the government's emergency department, a 'mini' budget is admitted in order to fix another €2bn fall in the public finances.

Also dropping is Mrs Obama's fashion-savvy rating with complaints about her showing off toned arms in yet another sleeveless dress. "Nobody is sleeveless here and it's the winter," said one congressional aide. "They must really be ramping up the heat in the White House."

A shivering nation welcomes news that energy prices will be cut. But it's cold comfort as one of the coldest winters on record has already resulted in gas-tronomical bills.

Sweet Jesus... Madonna (right) turns up the heat, giving headline writers a field day by showing off her new Brazilian. It's not just that her boyfriend is 28 years her junior – it's the daring possibilities with that Christian 'son of God' name of Mr Luz's. Madonna and child?

wednesDAY

Child benefit is seen as a target for cuts in next month's mini-budget. And the bad news keeps on coming with the number on the live register now reaching 353,000. 'One in Ten' was a big hit for socially conscious band UB40 back in 1981, but no-one really feels like singing now.

Washington sings the praises of Gordon Brown, the first European leader invited to address the new Obama administration, as he puts a new spin on the special relationship: "There is no old Europe, no new Europe, there is only your friend Europe."

thursDAY

Neverland? Or Newbridge? An invitation is extended to Michael Jackson to come to Ireland as memorabilia from his forthcoming LA auction goes on display in the Newbridge Silverware Museum. But the only suit attracting most attention could be of the law variety as he threatens legal action against the US auctioneers.

Taxes may go up, but mortgage repayments will come down as the ECB cuts interest rates by a further 0.5%.

Now at a mere 0.5%, the Bank of England says its rate can't go any lower – and the UK has a new phrase to conjure with in economic lingo: "quantitative easing". In other words, the proverbial licence to print money, a whole £150bn of it, with permission granted to the bank by Alistair Darling.

friDAY

Camden's darling Amy Winehouse (above) is back to black, just days after returning from her holidays, on charges of assaulting a fan during a charity concert last year.

It's enough to turn your beehive grey, particularly when real bottle is needed to lead the world out of recession. After just 45 days in office, photos show the bottle Barack Obama is most in need of is one filled with Grecian 2000. Confirmation too from the president's barber: "There's grey all right, it's not a whole lot, but he has a few strands."

RTÉ urgently seeks a €10m wage bill cut. Approaches have been made to the salary slash-resistant Ryans – Tubridy (above) and Gerry who earn €346,667 and €558,000 respectively. Tubridy finally relents on Saturday.