JOHN Galliano calls this ready-to-wear and indeed it is; ready-to-be-worn by the next nut. Clearly they hired this poor unfortunate during his day release because no sane man in possession of all his faculties would agree to make such a spectacle of himself. The 6ft beanpole on his right-hand side has been sent down the catwalk alongside him in case he suddenly comes to his senses and attempts a quick getaway.

Last week, John Galliano presented his take on the smoking jacket, which will no doubt appear on the back of several Premiereship footballers very soon.

Galliano may have surpassed his contemporaries by attending to the male dilemma of 'what to wear around the house' but why showcase it on a half-naked old man who clearly doesn't know any better? And as for the garters . . . is this where he keeps his medication?

The silk smoking jacket definitely beats leisurewear, which is a blight upon modern society; old football shorts is not a good look.

Some more adventurous types have taken to wearing sarongs . . . a reminder of days spent under sunnier skies and although more stylish than off-white GAA shorts, the ensemble is still controversial. Sarong, let's face it, is another word for skirt.