Another summer holiday, another eye-opening travel experience with Ryanair.
Without looking up a dictionary, I'd hazard a guess that 'hand luggage' means carried in or by the hand. Therefore, if said item is
a) slung over your shoulder like you are an overburdened coalman;
b) on wheels;
c) carried, one strained handle each, by two persons;
may I politely suggest that it is not, in fact, hand luggage.
This current carry-on with carry-on actually opens up a world of new revenue streams for Michael O'Leary. My first suggestion is the sale or hire of ankle guards to all passengers. Because whether you are in the priority or regular cattle chute, your general calf-to-heel area is in mortal danger when this type of 'hand luggage' is being scraped leadenly along the queue floor.
Similarly, because it's hard to lift your own body-weight equivalent into the overhead bins, crash helmets could be offered. I've witnessed two such 'hand luggage' head injuries lately.
Or else Mr O'Leary could simply start enforcing his '10kg' rule properly, with swingeing penalties for the thousands of passengers who are currently ignoring it.
Yes, I'm a snitch. But what can I say? I love my ankles.